Hot freakin’ dog! Metallica has finally given us a new single. The richest boys in metal finally decided it was time to serve us salivating dogs a freshly re-heated second helping of St. Anger! Yay.

It’s been said that the geriatric, wealthier than living fuck, whiny thrashers from the Bay have developed tastes for pricey art, vintage cigars (this is no joke) and expensive wines. I like to think of “The Day that Never Comes” as a big, ol’ Bordeaux from a ancient house. At first scent it is powerful. And it’s way overstructured and when it floods over your tongue it has the distinct “mouth feel” of a bag of musty dicks.

Or, as my pal Ralph Moore lays it out, “it’s a party in your mouth and everybody is puking”

I guess Metallica sees no point in resting on its laurels to go down in metal history as a pioneering and raging machine. They seem more intent on exiting the stage with a limp and a stutter – either for a few more coins in their fanny packs or in the vain effort to show the kids how much they can still kick ass.

I certainly ain’t disappointed – I haven’t expected much since the load which was

This sucks…let's go shopping!

Load. I suppose what has really surprised me is that they haven’t taken Apple to court to make them sell the single for 10 bucks on iTunes…