OK, that’s a  fucked up title. It’s just what you get when I feel rushed.  Anyhoooo it is New Year’s Eve which will naturally involve a great deal of drinking for you(Might mean that for us too, though I’m not really feeling this night as a boozy one just yet.) As there’s plenty of daylight left to go buy liquor I thought I’d add one more smart cocktail to the list of possibilities -   The Groot 9.  And you thought this post’s title was unusual?

   Quick history – I’m 20 years into this bartending crap. Back when I cared a bit more I used to whip up new drinks to impress girls and to help their undies find a way to dangle from light fixtures in my apartment.  At later times, when my paycheck demanded creativity and production, I would create relatively original and thematic cocktails lists for reataurants. That was the past however and only on occasions now (very, very rare occasions) I will actually make a new cocktail for a stool-warmer who requests it.  As I mentioned, it is an infrequent event for a couple-three reasons to this aging, sarcastic booze-slinger. 1) Most jackasses ask for a special drink while it’s busy and, well, fuck them. 2) There are a billion drinks already in existence.  Many are delicious, so if those jackasses don’t want to order one of them, fuck them. 3) 99.9 percent of the patrons who arrive in front of me on a bar are not friends of mine.  Thus, having no special relationship to me I feel no compulsion to treat them to anything beyond the restaurant’s drink list, the standard roster of common elixirs and my winning freaking charm.  Fuck Them.

   Naturally, a patron or two will indeed cross over from paying nuisance to potential amigo.  Such a person is Groot Gregory.  Charming dude, pleasant, underspoken, etc and had even graciously accepted my initial inertia at making anything new for him.  That sort of won me over and soon enough I was fiddling around with different concoctions for him on Sunday nights.  The Groot 9 became the winner and since it so freaking tasty maybe you’d like to try one yourself…

The Groot 9…

1 Part Three Olives Pomegranate Vodka

1 Part Cointreau

1 Part Good Gin (We use Beefeater)

Pour the three fluids into a shaker with ice.  Shake the freaking brains out of it.  Strain into a martini glass.  Garnish with a kumquat and some pomegranate seeds to get a nice Sci-Fi appearance (eyeballs around a space egg in a lab funnel…) Or just toss in an orange slice, since that’s all I usually have on hand at the restaurant.  Merry New Year!