Dude,

Couple things.

1) Read you post about B. Page and it reminded me of something sexually formative that you and I shared, and wondered if you remembered–Ingrid Pitt. Horror/B movie seductress; possessor of the first pair of tat tas that I ever cared about. We watched movies like Mighty Joe Young, played Husker Du and somehow stumbled upon this celluloid trizamp. Ring a bell?

2)An unrelated but hopefully useful holiday recipe. I lived, with my family, for three years in South America. Celebrative people, those Chileans! One new years eve festivities consisted of 11 distinct alcoholic beverages. One of which is close to my heart and I would like to share it with you:

This recipe makes approx. 3 750 ml bottles of Cola de Mono (Monkey Tail)

Two cans eagle brand sweetened condensed milk (leche condensada azucarada)

1 quart agua. Combine. Bring to a boil and immediately lower heat and simmer. Add two sticks cinnamon (canela,)1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg (nuez de moscada, which incidentally and literally translates to “nuts of the drosophila melongaster”,) 6 cloves (clavos de olor, which more or less means “smelly nails,” which, I guess, makes sense,)and a table spoon of vanilla. Simmer for four or five minutes.

Remove from heat. Add 4 tablespoons of your favorite instant coffee. (Now I don’t have a favorite instant coffee, and was scandalized at how expensive that crap was when I went to buy it in the States. Side note: In Chile if you are an invited guest in somebody’s home, they will always serve you cookies, and depending on the season, hot beverages or soda served out of gigantic three {not two, mind you}but three liter bottles. In winter, you get hot, so your options are tea or Nescafe instant coffee. The joke is that “Nescafe” stands for “no es cafe.” I always went for tea…

When this mixture has cooled down to room temperature, mix in two cups vanilla vodka (the original fire water was a cane alcohol called “aguardiente” which literally means “fire water.” This will produce a very sweet,but pleasing beverage. For less sweet and more kick, use 50 proof vodka instead. Whichever you prefer, serve well chilled to folks you like. We used to put this stuff in those aforementioned 3 liter soda bottles and cool them in the river. However, placed in a nice caraffe, this humble drink of southern Chilean campesinos can be transformed into an elegant aperitif. Enjoy my friend, enjoy!

And finally, 3) Would it be possible to go through some kind of process, to apply for some sort of dispensation, that would allow me to be grand-fathered into being permitted to call you “Frankie.” At least if only provisionally so I can get used to Frank. It may take a year or so.

Paz,

Hal