Not very spicy, and while quite tasty, this is a good introduction to bolder flavors for children or any bland motherfucker you have to have over for a BBQ.

   I usually make this with chickens – leads to more meat for the spice-driven gluttony and also turns its name into Bebek Ayam.

 Bebek Betutu 
1 duck, about 5-6 lbs
18 shallots, peeled & sliced
10 cloves garlic, peeled, crushed & sliced
5 stalks lemongrass, bottom 4 inches only – tough outer leaves removed …

Balinese Suckling Pig…  This is what we were getting our fingers greasy on, during a pre-Monsoon storm at a villa in Legian, when I asked Elisa to marry me.  Fiery hot pork and bad weather – no better way to get engaged, yes? 
   Although better known by its Indonesian name, …

Sop Bakso  
Meatballs
1 lb finely ground pork *
4 cloves garlic, crushed & minced
1 egg
¼ cup tapioca flour (or rice flour)
1 tsp salt
A couple or three pinches of fresh ground pepper, preferably white.
*sub chicken, beef or lamb depending on which gods you’re afraid of.
Soup
2 cloves garlic, crushed & chopped
2 shallots, or …

use cold, cooked rice, as warm rice will stick to the wok and absorb liquid too quickly.
INGREDIENTS:
6 tbsp oil
6 shallots, peeled and sliced
6 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced
6 oz chicken or pork, sliced*
8 oz medium size shrimp, peeled*
¼ small Nappa cabbage, shredded
3 eggs, beaten
½ cup sambal tomat
4-5 cups cold, cooked rice
2 …

 INGREDIENTS:
1/4 cup oil
14 red serrano chiles, seeded and chopped
10 bird’s eye chili, chopped
4 tomatos,  seeded and cut into wedges
10 garlic clove, sliced
15 small shallots, peeled and sliced
1 tsp dried shrimp paste, roasted (sub 1tsp Thai fish sauce)
2 tbs palm sugar, chopped (sub brown sugar)
Juice of 1/2 lime
1 tbsp salt
PREPARATION:
Heat oil in heavy saucepan over …

Elsie got plowed over once by somebody’s tubby mom and again by some pale jackass whose face had turned purple from the chlorine. The one time this week I managed to slip off to the gym for some dumbbell breast augmentation some lady took my sweat pants

…She wants more juice, didn’t like her cereal and wants the motherfucking cold cuts back and sticks her fist in her mouth just to show me then pulls out a handful of drool to drip on the floor. Jack wants the stapler and tells me, for the tenth time, how earthquakes are killing all the panda bears in China.

   Glögg!!! Or is it glǿgg!!!?  Well, we’re sure it ain’t glug, as certain as we are thatit’s the most important booze of winter here.  And what the hell am I talking about, right? OK, “Glögg” is a generic Swedish term for a “mulled” beverage and can run the gamut from the high-octane Jul (Christmas) Glögg …

 
   First off, I’d like to note how cool Wynonna Judd is for staying fat for her fat pill commercials. It saves us all from having to wonder if alli® actually works. Therefore this installment of Bacon of the Month goes out to that wonderful, Country singin’, crybaby cow.
 
   We’re …