Picture Miami with a little Chinatown every few blocks and lots of American stores. If you went to South Beach on a record hot summer day, walked up Lincoln St, ate bowls of Mee Hoon on Washington instead of Media Noche sandwiches, bought film and Banana Republic cashmere wife-beaters back on Lincoln, then down Ocean Drive to look at tan chicks in tiny skirts you will have experienced Singapore

 INGREDIENTS:
1/4 cup oil
14 red serrano chiles, seeded and chopped
10 bird’s eye chili, chopped
4 tomatos,  seeded and cut into wedges
10 garlic clove, sliced
15 small shallots, peeled and sliced
1 tsp dried shrimp paste, roasted (sub 1tsp Thai fish sauce)
2 tbs palm sugar, chopped (sub brown sugar)
Juice of 1/2 lime
1 tbsp salt
PREPARATION:
Heat oil in heavy saucepan over …

Walked miles around Times Square looking for a fine hot dog before turning in. Without a single goddamned Sabrett’s umbrella to be found, I wind up gobbling down a Shitty© Brand cart-dog w/ Bugles and Doritos. Back to the Marriot to drink warm, leftover beer and pass out alongside my soon to be, possibly, betrothed.

I’ve already listened to The Beatles.

Hey all you 32 Million Americans who’ve worked really hard, needed health insurance for you or your family, couldn’t afford it but now can…well, screw you! I hope you get killed by buses, bisons, or any other American made tragedy which gets you off my fucking tax tab.

Why is my bum so crazy?

Elsie got plowed over once by somebody’s tubby mom and again by some pale jackass whose face had turned purple from the chlorine. The one time this week I managed to slip off to the gym for some dumbbell breast augmentation some lady took my sweat pants

They are on the outside and as long as I don’t train my eyes on the peripheral hubbub I’m left with a scuttling galaxy of freckles. A visual lullaby – sweet, soothing, whirling blemishes. Tonight a big henna fuzz ascended in the far quadrant of my right eye. A large blurry bug hovering to make sure I was getting sleepy, to tell me reading in such poor light was bad for my little eyes. That was nice.

Funny Stuff from Ric Barbera & Company

…our kids have blessed us with low mucosal output. They ooze the clear stuff while playing out in the winter, sure – we all do. And they’ve been into blowing/wiping their own noses from an early age; got into that late myself, being a back-horker and user of Sleevex until I was 18 when it got in the way of dating. I love blowing my nose all the time now and it was probably my circus seal …