As of today I haven’t had a cigarette in 6 or 7 weeks.  Losing certainty over the time which has passed is a good thing. Far better than, say, a month ago when the slow stomp of time away from my last smoke had been excruciatingly clear and I was …

Happy Belated Evacuation Day, btw, for all you souses who took a day of rest after annihilating yourselves in homage to our patron Naomh Padraig. 
Anyhow, it’s the 19th and we’ve yet to eat any March bacon. I’d like to think my last review, a weeee bit unkind towards the owner …

   Spending the next week at the South Seas Island Resort on Captiva.  It’s a swell place – the sun rises directly across from the balcony, dolphins frolic in the channel below,  the best hotel food I’ve had since Bali, the kids are stoked and if the hotel ever gets …

Even my bacon junkie boy, Jack, grimaced and winced as though a pig had just punched him in the face, “Daddy, can we buy good bacon next time?”

This stuff goes right to the top into that Scarlett Johansson’s tongue category. It was awesome, wicked decent as they say in RI, and a hell of a nice way to start The Year in Pork. Vande Rose Farms attributes the outstanding bacon to its Iowa Duroc hogs…

Oh, hell yes, that’s what I said. And I’m in possession of such an arrestingly awesome Apple Butter Rugelach w/ cream cheese dough recipe that people I share it with are suddenly compelled to fabricate stories about how their grannies grew up in Polish ghettos. I’m tellin’ ya, they’re that good.

Put a backyard rink under trees and you’ve just signed yourself up for daily sweepings to remove twigs, leaves and stray debris.  But who’d a thunk squirrels would be taking toasty little dumps which instantly create pits in the ice? Then the little clots of seedy, rathole granola warm in …

Sluuuuuuurp!
Since I haven’t posted a thing since before Christmas it would seem my brain is spent on ideas. Luckily there are readers and chums and yoga teachers out there who’ve been kind enough to think for me and come up with topics.  Today’s first topic is Noodles. It’s 11 degrees outside …

At nine years old, it was a good thing the original, uncut British version of The Vampire Lovers wasn’t available in the states. It is more “European”, in the sense that Pitt has a naked romp with another woman. I was a sexually preoccupied teen as it was, but an earlier exposure to that girl-girl bloodsucker scene would have set me on the path for years of even greater disappointment. Instead of prancing for weeks, deflowered at fourteen, I might have stumbled around in a sour funk like a spoiled

Clearly, the tried and true M&M didn’t deserve a kick to the curb but this new treat had temporarily fuddled up my thoughts. With my eyes rolling back in my head, chanting mmuuuhhhhuhuh muuuuuhhhh after each chewy, sprinklely gnaw at ecstasy I had to shove my daughter off my lap as I became snickerdoodled into a case of gonflement phallique. It could have made for some necessarily awkward explanations