By the time I became aware of Ms. Page there was little for her to do beside nudge Lynda Carter and Farrah Fawcett down on my roster of beautiful women. She would, however always remain in the shadow of some nameless brunettes who’d been poisoned by Triffids or devoured by demon tiki poles. And even they were fated to mere backup roles behind the utter magnificence of that goddess from Forbidden Planet, Anne Francis.*

To be superfly you can’t be a private dick, you have to be a pimp and a hustler and a drug dealer. Your threads gotta have flash, dig? Your suit can be brown as long as it’s got at least six different shades in the plaid and some red and orange to give it jazz. You can wear white too, as long as we catch the yellow flash of jewelry under the blazer and your cape throws some shadow over your baby blue boots. You gotta have soul and it’s got to be divided into a kaleidescope of variegated identity. In short, you just got to have some M&M’s in you. Introspective and tortured, candy coated chocolates which burn with better intentions

and sterilizing the genre these days). The notable exceptions here are The Ramones’ Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight), also the best Xmas carol performed by a Jew, and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ Xmas Time (It Sure Doesn’t Feel Like It). Although that particular tune ranks among the crazy-long roster of Christmas downers it is poignant, honest and beautifully performed. Can’t forget The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York either. Leave it to Shane MacGowan to turn alcoholism and failure into a gleeful ballad with an indisputable Christmas feel. After those it all goes back to rock stars writing crap and pop stars re-singing starchy versions of stale classics.

There’s a bunch to rant about – the outcome of my Thanksgiving’s Day preparations, Jack’s 5th BD the weekend before (women drew on my face as I slept!!!), and it’s been a couple of months since the inception of the Cookie of the Month installment.  Been thinking about M&M Cookies, …

Then you just may be in need of the “Christmas Cross“.  Available through the American Family Association it’s sure to warm your American (and Caucasian!) neighbors’ hearts while giving pause to those pesky coloreds trying to spread their “Christianity-Love-and-Respect-For-All-Maknkind” bullshit. 

Two days before Thanksgiving probably ain’t within the ideal time frame for dishing out Holiday cooking advice. Then again, it’s rare for most of us to not to wind up in some sort of last minute crunch. We scramble for ideas on a better feast. We lose sleep in terror of having to smile through mouthfuls of dried out turkey breast that will suck the moisture out of our mouths like kitty litter. We gnash our teeth over lack of refrigerator space and curse heaven for providing us with so many loved ones but only blessing us with one lousy oven to cook for all of them.

“Hey Frank – Wasn’t she supposed to be Black Spider-Man?”

I almost ran back home to cry alone. How could Elsie have done this to me? I was devastated and convinced there’d be no forgiveness for this princess atrocity I wondered if I’d ever be able to love my daughter again…

Okay everybody – this is where the blog goes R-rated. Indirectly, that is, and for video content. Obviously this website already has its language issues.
Anyhow, I’m always ready to plug Ric Barbera and his gang at Drama 3/4 in LA. They had a single season series on VH-1, but their …

Culinary tips regarding the Holy Bulb of Gilroy: The Onion.
For a hell of a good, funny tale of woe coupled with a killer recipe for spiked Apple Cider, read Tim Connor’s Hard Cider for Hard Times @ http://www.pocketexpressblog.com/2008/11/07/hard-cider-for-hard-times-food-and-drink
Happy Armistice Day or whatever the hell it is today – Frank

I keep running into people who are genuinely pissed off over the results of this election and I’m having trouble understanding just exactly why. Being a non-affiliated moderate the only thing I expect from politicians is to do the best they can in the best interest of this country (so I live w/o hope…), thus it’s always been difficult to relate to anyone chained to either end of the political spectrum. And whether Liberal or Reactionary (Neoconservative, as the new euphemism goes) polarized folks aren’t very good at explaining their stances. They only excel at shrieking about how dangerous and evil the other side is.