Tag Archives: Birthday

Merry Elsie Day!

Posted on by Frank
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My little girl hates underwear, refuses to wear it with an almost religious fervor.  Generally it ain’t a big deal, as long as she’s got some pants on.  But every so often the panty issue rips through my comfort zone like a runaway buzzsaw. Like when she wears skirt pajamas, falls asleep in mom’s bed, needs to be moved and her jammies are up to her ribcage when I pull off the blanket off to pick her up.   I jump back and shriek, GAHHHH!  At moments like those I get an inkling of what it must’ve been like be Paris Hilton’s dad.

But Elsie gives us far more reasons to grin in pride than to shriek in puritanical horror – matter of fact I’m watching through the backdoor now as she’s singing on the swing.  She doesn’t wait for help getting on – hoists herself up, starts pumping and in no time she’s trying to swoop her little toes into the clouds. Our monkey turned four this week and her independence and constant singing are just a couple of things which make fatherhood pretty freaking sweet. 

It’s crazy how far Elsie has come in life and I could go on and on with a fat roster of her milestones.  But I’ve got a birthday party in  a few hours, no time to get windy.  I’ll just post one of my favorite things she’s done – the writing over here at the right.  She’d asked me how to spell “blanket” and “hot rod”, she’s been writing “pop” for months now, and I’ve now idea what a “mooef” might be.   But damn! Look at those words: pretty nice form and spacing for a kid who just turned four, no?  And HOT ROD?  The fact that she wanted to spell that word is just about the neatest thing ever, making me giddy as she gave me the sheet.  Who is cooler than Elsie?  That’s right – nobody…

Happy Birthday Party Day, Monkey!

Birthday Party

Posted on by Frank
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August 13th, 2008

As of today, apart from an incipient 9-10 months slurping amnion in a stranger’s uterus, I’ve been around 40 years. Seemed a good a day as any to start spreading what’s in my brain around to strangers, with or without uteruses…

It’s been a year or so now that a friend here or there has been emphatic that I start a blog.  But things have gotten in the way, namely Thing One and Thing Two – my kids, Jack and Elsie. There was also the secondary pain in the ass of writing a book.  That little project has finally entered the pipeline and may actually turn into something one might find on the bargain table at Borders not too far in the future. But as folks close to me have dealt with its progress throughout the decade in which I’d just talked about it, I’ll save its discussion until we get closer to a publishing date.

At the start of this crap I’m at a loss of how to begin – although the “ease” of setup which WordPress touts so vehemently seems like a good jump off point (thanks for spelling out the manual in code, jackasses) - I’ve got an odd handful of topics where I’ve got expertise, proficiency or just passion: fatherhood, neighborhood politics, lawn care, tequila, paleoanthropology, t-shirt selection, et al. I’ve also had a long culinary and booze-serving career which culminated in both an alcoholic implosion and a cook-and-cocktail book.  It’s done been wrote but tain’t gone no where so I think I’ll chop it up and put it up here.

Not sure I want to get known, to even a small circle, as just another cuisiniere douchebag. But I think you’ll find my take a little different – inflammatory but refreshing. So sit back – you won’t be disappointed in the read. You might learn a trick or two, have a chuckle or just get really fucking pissed off. And soon enough I’ll change gears and tell you what big pricks the parents of my kids’ friends are, where Obama Barack fits in the long line of evasive twits headlining the Democratic party, and just how Homo habilis just isn’t well-defined enough to be included in our models of human evolution.

Sit back, yes. But don’t get comfy – the last few paragraphs are about as genteel as I’ll ever be. Get ready to go to hell and tell more people to go fuck themselves. Welcome to my world…