I rinsed my hands fast and looked at the lemon. No freaking way. If things got bad I’d have a tough enough time explaining chiles in my kid’s bum to an EMT, let alone a big squeeze of citric acid in there. What the hell was I going to do? Take him outside and put a hose in his rectum? His face had gone purple in agony while I raced into his room looking for some sort of balm